6wks! Seriously? 6wks!!!

Eli is 6wks old.  OMG!!!!

What does this mean?  Mama can leave him at the GYM!  YEAH.  Ok, now this isn’t as easy as it seems.  I’ve NEVER left one of my kids with ANYONE besides Daddy before the age of 10mths.  Ok, I lie, Heather watched Ashton when I went to the Dermatologist when he was about 4mths old, but so far, that has been it.  I take my infants EVERYWHERE!

But, I’ve met a really great girl, Colleen, who has a 3yo son and 22mth old boy and girl twins AND is pregnant again!  Colleen has taught me something…to ACCEPT help.  Ok, I’m not doing it across the board, yet, but I am doing it for this, I NEED THE GYM!  I need 2 hours of alone time, I need to get my body back, I need to workout.  PERIOD.  Why?  Because it makes me feel good.  It actually makes me feel connected to Quinn.  I know, weird, right?  But when I started working out 7 days a week, just about 2 years ago, it was because of Quinn that I did it.  I wanted to feel ok an at peace with his passing.  I wanted to become a better Mommy to the boys I had here with me.  It was Q that helped me get there.  I know, that sounds nutty, but until you’ve walked in my shoes, don’t judge, and as I tell everyone I know, “Whatever gets you through the day, go with it.”  I’m a FIRM believer in this.  I believe Q is the reason I hit the gym.  I believe he is the reason I’m there now.  He would want me to be a better Mommy.  He would want me to enjoy chasing the boys outside…where the old Tara had NO desire to EVER run or go outside.

So that brings me to the gym.  At 2 weeks post baby I began running.  The first time was a mile.  Second was 2 miles.  Then I was stuck.  But I wasn’t going daily, more like 3x a week, and it just wasn’t going up as fast as I would have liked.  No biggy, my Facebook friends, reminded me it takes TIME.  And it does.  Well a week ago yesterday Colleen called and said meet me at the gym.  Tom was home, so I went.   I dragged my feet, but I went.  I pulled out 2 miles, but it was broken up.  I felt hopeless. 

Then comes today.  I’m TOTALLY stoked about going to the gym after dropping Ashton off at school.  I begin driving to the Y and realize I left Eli’s diaper bag on the COUNTER!  Seriously?  How did that happen?  It makes NO sense.  I could have KICKED myself.  First thought, turn around and go home.  But I was dressed.  I was ready.  I wanted to GO!  So I decided to go and I could always leave should he need a diaper/formula.

I text Colleen and she decides to bring me diapers.  LOVE YOU GIRL!  You ROCK!  He shouldn’t ‘NEED’ to eat till 10:30am anyways.  Well Collleen arrives at 8:50am, checks on Eli, he’s fine.  I go in at 9am, and he’s still fine.  This is AFTER my 3 mile RUN!  Yes, I ran 3miles.  Without stopping.  And walked another mile.  SWEET!!!

Since Eli was fine, I decided to go with my original plan and do Body Combat.  WOWSER!  It kicked my butt.  I’m CERTAIN I will feel the effects tomorrow.  But that’s ok.  I need it.  Colleen is 7mths pregnant and she was doing it right along with me.  That gave me the motivation to KEEP going.  She rocks.  She is amazing.  She is also a TRUE athlete in my opinion, where as I’ve had to learn to become athletic.  Is that even possible?  Well I think so.  I now have the drive, the desire, to go go go.  I love it.  I love my body in shape, even if I’m not the skinniest person in the world, I’m fit and feeling good…so I need to GO!  But as of today, 6 weeks post baby, I have 20lbs to get me there.  I WILL GET THERE.  Trust me.  I will.

With that note…my Dad starts chemo on Tuesday.  I wish him all the luck in the world and I’d appreciate any prayers you have available.  Love you all.


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