So, today marks one year since we found out our twins had TTTS. Seems fitting that I would start blogging on the twin blog I had started over a year ago, huh? Gesh, it seems all so final. We had surgery a year ago and in less than 3wks we lost a little boy that I loved more than life itself. *sniff*

The other day I woke up saying I wouldn’t bring this up again. And I feel I’ve brought it up more than ever. Being a Mother is hard enough. Loosing a baby, even worse. Nobody can understand my thoughts or my feelings, since most haven’t went through what I have gone through. At times I feel guilty for feeling as bad as I do, others have lost so much more, or worse yet, have never had the opportunity to carry a child, ever.

Life isn’t fair, not for you, or the person living next door. So don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t beat yourself up over other peoples miss fortunes. We all have our things we desire and don’t always get. Life is just that way. A roller-coaster.

So someone said to me tonight how rough it is to buy for 2 babies. And at first I thought, wow, what a low blow. But she doesn’t know. And you know, neither do I. I was the one who complained about the prices of clothes to buy for just one baby. So we all complain about things we know. It’s not right, it is not wrong. It is what we know.

I knew one day would come that I would make that realization. I thought it would be over sleep deprivation. I honestly thought I would complain that Ethan wouldn’t allow me to sleep enough. And I’d find myself exhausted and wishing he would just lay down for a few hours. Nope, that has never happened. He is the BEST sleeper EVER! Since he was 7wks old, I don’t think he has woken in the middle of the night, once. And in his 7 1/2 mths of life, that is a long time to a Mother with a 3 year old, too.

So this is what it came down too. Clothes. Gymboree, in fact. What are they thinking charging $21.99 on CLEARANCE? Honestly, that is just NUTS!

Ok, off to bed. Hugs Quinn. Mama loves you more than you know!



  1. Brooke said,

    November 6, 2008 at 2:33 am

    Awesome blog! (HUGS)

  2. happyherbivore.com said,

    November 6, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    its always better to focus on what you have than what you have lost. While life is certainly not fair and what you went through is devestating, you have two beautiful boys who love you very much!!

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